


Blisters Unseen

by Crippleth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anger, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Touch, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Guilt, Haphephobia, Heavy Angst, Insecurity, Lev is in the top class, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Haiba Alisa, Protective Yaku Morisuke, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Raped Haiba Lev, Self-Hatred, Trauma, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:35:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29359635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crippleth/pseuds/Crippleth
Summary: The touches burn.Each and every single one of them.Skin on skin.But no one can see the burns, the blisters, the scars.No one but him.And it should stay that way.Because scars are ugly.
Relationships: Haiba Alisa & Haiba Lev, Haiba Lev & Nekoma Volleyball Club, Haiba Lev/Original Male Character(s), Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 23
Kudos: 54





	Blisters Unseen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If there was one thing Haiba Lev was quite self-conscious about, it was that he was what one would call an airhead.
> 
> And being an airhead comes with doing stupid things.
> 
> Sometimes it was too late to realize it.

If there was one thing Haiba Lev was quite self-conscious about, it was that he was what one would call an airhead.

It was a trait he got from his russian mother, really. Being honestly so stupid and so much of an idiot, that he'd get himself into a mess without anyone or anything to blame except himself. He could, in fact, try to blame others – for the sake of pride and shame – but if there's one thing Haiba Lev _wasn't_ , it was being selfish. He was pretty sure he got that from the mother's side too, a family filled with giant airheads that knocks over fragile pieces of furniture daily and laughed it off as if it wasn't a historical family heirloom.

Being someone stupid was something Lev had gotten used to and even came up to accept eversince his father accidentally called him an idiot. The memory was fresh, a surprisingly small seven-year old Lev with grabby hands pressing a random key on the keyboard and the next thing he knew, his father was screaming in frustration.

"Lev, you- _idiot!_ "

Of course, a trait his elder sister recieved, his father was also a ridiculously kind-hearted man, simply too pure for this world. He can still remember the sharp gasp and the look of guilt displayed on Haiba Katsurou's face, before the man pulled his small son into a tight hug and repeated desperate tearful apologies for who knows how long. It was quite funny, and Lev forgave him eventually.

Lev had recieved numerous reminders of him being a bit of a dimwit, most of them being from his classmates who bullied him for his inherited tall stature and the clumsiness that comes along (it's a package deal from his mother's genetics). They really loved chanting the word 'stupid' at him in a drawled, sing-song manner that sounded so silly, Lev didn't know whether to sulk or laugh in response.

But then again, he got something else from his mother. It was called the 'Tough Cookie' (as she calls it) genetics.

He laughed along with them whenever they teased and taunted him. He even points out his own flaws for them to laugh at, although they would just look at him incredulously as if he was doing something really stupid (which he was). Soon, knowing that he wasn't giving them the reaction they wanted, the boys left him alone.

Lev didn't mind, he much preferred hanging out with girls anyways. They're a kinder and supportive bunch, and they don't use 'bad words'.

Even going off to upper high school didn't leave those words in the dust. His classmates were a professional bunch, being in the top class with a reputation to uphold. They don't have time breaking others down, as they're fully focused on building themselves up. Lev felt relief flooding into him when none of them spared a glance towards where he was standing.

Then came the inevitable club sessions.

His club seniors were absolutely aggressive, especially the angry one that was a few heads shorter than him. But this situation is different – a good kind of different, if he were to be honest – it was more of a 'tough love' situation, where they use those words he despised so much not to grind him to dust, but to build him up stronger than before.

Yaku Morisuke was equivalent to a hangry chihuahua (Lev wondered if he was actually related to one, both are adorable and satanic), with a barrage of harsh judgements and insults came flooding out of his mouth faster than John Moschitta doing a rap battle with God himself. He was relentless in terms of screaming out whatever came to mind, making sure all of his opinions were heard and considered, even if pure force – whether physical or verbal – was required just to voice himself out. 

But while Lev turns into a whiny baby once his short senior starts yapping at him in a fast pace, he was also thankful. Because Yaku is forcing him to get up, work harder, and make the best he can do better than it was, it means Yaku believed he can become better. That's why Lev liked him a bit too much, because Yaku knows he can become someone he'd compliment rather than screaming at soon.

Even if he was a total airhead.

* * *

Lev's feet had left the ground a second too late, the darned ball had whizzed past his arms and down onto the gym floor faster. His side of the team had lost, and it wasn't anyone's fault but his. He didn't even turn around to look and sulk at his defeat, and just stared between his toes knowing that he could've stopped that ball if he was a bit smarter like Tsukishima. Maybe if he had the ability to read block like Kuroo can, he could've saved that ball and Yaku would finally praise him.

He let his arms hang by his sides and raised his chin up to face the gym light. Man, defeat tastes sadder everytime he experienced it. Oh well, it was just a practice match with three players on each side anyways, not an official match like he loathes. He doesn't have to make this loss into a big deal, and he shouldn't.

_"Lev!"_

Well, angry chihuahua certainly disagrees.

His broad shoulders jolted as the shrill, furious scream of boiling frustration echoed through the gym, silencing everyone and everything else. Shame and humiliation bubbled inside of him, knowing full well that all eyes are on him now, probably filled with pity and disappointment.

Like always.

"What was with that block?!" Yaku screamed, a vein popping out by his temple as he approached Lev, stomping the poor wooden floor. It's almost cute if he wasn't omitting a murderous aura. "You could've had it if your arms don't flail around that much!! How many times does Kuroo and I have to tell you to stiff it up?!"

Yaku was short, of course he wouldn't understand. Long limbs were really hard to control, and actually slower than Yaku's short, stubby corgi arms that looks absolutely adorable when he flails them around in frustration. But of course, he was practically begging for a longer screaming lecture if he ever voiced that, especially when Yaku's face was as red as their jersey. Also, is that steam coming out of his face?

"Sorry, Yaku-san!! It won't happen again!!" He yelled out, bowing down and hoping for the best. Rather than the best, he got a foot to his stomach instead. His breath left him and he made a loud sound of pain, almost hilarious, and he fell down to the ground. He could see Yaku's tiny shoes right in front of his face.

"You said that since the last three failed blocks, Lev. When will you learn to keep a promise?!" He hollered. Lev just made a high-pitched whine, complaining more than actual words could. "But Yaku-san, I'm really doing my best!!"

Yaku groaned, running his hand down his face as he looked at the pile of long limbs on the floor. "Well your best isn't enough. Make it better." He demanded, his tone hard and stern. "And I expect the 'better' to show up by next week." And just like that, he left Lev on the ground, contemplating his words with a frustrated pout on his face.

A few moments of silence followed, before Kuroo awkwardly cleared his throat and clapped his hands twice, gaining the attention of the others. "Alright then, now that it's settled." His loud voice boomed, looking at Yaku taking a sip from his water bottle with an unreadable look on his face. "It's time to leave, everyone pack up. Yamamoto, Fukunaga, you're on clean-up duty today. Don't forget to lock up before you leave." Everyone packed their bags and left the gym, while the two second years (one of them complaining) started untying the nets.

As Lev walked out through the gym doors and climbed down the small steps of stairs, he felt a firm grip on his shoulders. He turned his head only to meet the sharp yet kind eyes of his captain.

"Lev! How're you hanging there, buddy?" He asked in a friendly and light tone, smiling. Lev shrugged, continuing to walk but this time, with Kuroo strolling beside him, whistling.

"I'm alright, why?" Lev returned the smile, trying to keep the conversation between them friendly and hopefully not saying anything stupid that would strain their relationship any further than he has, with him messing up his plays again and again. Kuroo fiddled with his nails, languidly talking, "Just asking, y'know. Can't be a great captain if I don't keep my lovely juniors' feelings in check." He stated, eyes not leaving his perfectly filed nails as he contemplated whether to paint them matte black or burgundy this weekend.

Silence followed, Lev not saying anything in response, before Kuroo sighed and dropped the act. "Really, Lev... are you alright?" He asked, worried. Lev just stared at him, blinking stupidly. Kuroo scratched the back of his head, searching for the right words, "It's just- I know Yaku can be way too aggressive, and it's really unnecessary, so I understand why you're getting-"

"I'm not upset, Kuroo-san," He said, walking ahead of Kuroo as the bedhead stopped in his tracks, looking at Lev in surprise. They're at the gates right now, and they'll have to walk seperate paths to get to their respective homes. Lev turned his head, and Kuroo watches wide-eyed in amazement as he sends him a warm smile, content and happy. "I'm thankful. After all, if Yaku-san pushes me, that means he knows I can still go further. He's amazing, isn't he?"

And just like that, Lev turns back and flounces away, a cheerful skip in his steps as he heads home. Kuroo stood there, jaw unhinged, flabbergasted at Lev's somehow naive, innocent yet mature response. It appears that he's been reading the tense situation wrong this whole time, and he felt relief easing the weight off of his back. Then, he turns his head to look at the security guard shack, grinning.

"Yaku-paisen, you got your response. You can come out now." He called out, and out stepped Yaku Morisuke from behind said shack with an undeniable bright red flush on his face. Kuroo smirked at him, a knowing look on his face as Yaku grumpily punches his arms. "Satisfied?" He asked in a shit-eating tone.

Yaku bit his lips, aggressively shoving his hands into his pockets and walking ahead, leaving Kuroo to chuckle teasingly and catch up to him. Under his breath, he grumbled,

_"...maybe..."_

* * *

Lev's steps home were small, and very slow, which was entirely intentional. After all, by the time he arrives home, he can only drop his bags, take a shower, wear a clean pair of pyjamas, finish up the day's homework and/or reading his notes and get to sleep. Nothing much to do anyways, which is why he prefers being at school rather than at home, where he'll be greeted by either an empty room or his sister. His parents are off on a two month business trip and they're coming home in three weeks, and his sister might still be out with her friends. If so, then he literally has the house all to himself, if the maid wasn't considered.

He didn't really want to reach home early. The moment he's done everything he needs to, he has to get to bed as soon as possible, and it's not like he has an easy time trying to get some shut-eye. His parents had informed the maid for this rule to be applied to him on all six days of the week (Saturday night is a free night!), and she must check on Lev to see whether he had obliged or not. He loved his parents, really, but they sought for a perfect son so much that it's stressing him out, being the only son and all.

Pausing his steps, he craned his neck upwards and stared at the darkening sky, the stars starting to get visible and the sun slowly going off to light up the other parts of the earth. He never really liked the dark, but the night sky had always been some sort of a comforting sight for him, and he basks in any type of comfort given by the universe, really. After all, it's not always been kind to him.

He slowly breathes in the air of the night, cold and humid, stinging the insides of his nose before puffing a cloud of air out through his lips. There wasn't anyone else in sight, nor are there any cars. All the houses and buildings' lights were switched off or shielded by thick curtains – save for the small twenty-four hour convenience store sitting between two houses – so the only source of light available for him at the moment were the street lights.

It was quite soothing, and even fun, being able to walk in the middle of the streets without a car in sight to send him flying. And there was absolutely no one to look at him dance around, humming as if he was in a musical romance movie. Maybe he'll bump into someone, someone destined for him, and they'll have an adventure together. They'll steal Lev away from the boring and judgemental world, and they'll tell Lev that they love him for who he is and he'll be happy. Maybe they'll fall in deep love, like soulmates linked by the heart and destined from the start! Although, they could stay best friends too, Lev certainly wouldn't mind. He wasn't picky, not anymore.

He was a bit thankful for the crickets, their relentless chirping prevented any chilling silence around him. If only they could play those joyful music with tiny guitars and fiddles and such – even if those were usually grasshoppers in top hats – he'd certainly appreciate it. It'd be like a fantasy world, and he could dance with pixies and fairies like he always dreamed of doing as a little kid.

Wait, does Yaku-san count as a pixie?

The ridiculous image of his furious senpai squeaking incoherently while pixie dust shimmers off of him made the small smile on Lev's face stretch further, even if it's just a tiny bit. The tiny bundle of anger always had that effect on him, from the first day Lev laid his eyes on such soft brown hues within the libero's own pair, heavily contrasting to the person he shows himself to be a few minutes afterwards. Yaku is strong, stubborn and aggressive, not soft, calm and sweet like the browns of his pretty eyes.

But his eyes are always harsh and determined, if Lev didn't consider that warm caramel color that stole his heart and swept him off of his feet. Maybe Yaku is like that, too. Strong as a brick on the outside, a metaphorical marshmallow on the inside. Lev had no proof of this theory, though, but he was firm in believing that one day, Yaku would show that side of him that he probably hid away within his harsh, violent exterior. Maybe Lev himself would be able to break through it.

What wishful thinking. 

Lev doesn't need a reminder that he annoys Yaku with his presence alone. Just show himself, be it physically nor within the libero's reoccurring nightmares, and Yaku would sneer in disgust at the sight of him. Love between them was just... impossible. Holding the tears in, Lev bit his lip - hard - trying to push down these irritating feelings that he never asked for in the first place, and ignoring the pain that comes with it.

The sound of a stone being kicked and rolling over the rough tar road snapped him out of it and Lev whipped his head around...

...only to meet a gorgeous pair of baby blue eyes, framed by short yet thick dark eyelashes that made his own breath hitch.

"Oh- sorry, did I startle you..?" The wielder of such unfair weaponry spoke, and his deep, velvety voice caught Lev off guard. He felt the warm blood creeping up to his own face, and prayed to whatever God was out there to make it seem like it was only from the cold air surrounding them.

"S-startle-? Me? N-no, no - _psshh_ \- I'm fine..!" Lev stammered, scratching the back of his neck as he lets out a nervous laugh, his eyes never leaving the stranger's despite his desperate efforts in trying to avert them to stare at literally _anything_ else. "I was just.. uh... A little bit dazed out just now."

The man chuckled. "I see. You _did_ seem quite distracted by the stars, after all. I don't blame you, they're as beautiful as you are." He teased, to which Lev furiously blushed in response. He's always been called out to be fairly attractive, but to have his facial features complimented by someone who reminds him of a greek god wasn't something one would be able to brush away as they try to sleep later at night.

"W-well, thanks..! I mean- you don't look half bad yourself! N-not that I'm saying that you're h-half handsome or anything, I-I just meant-!" He paused as his speedy grammar resulted with a bitten tongue, and the pain washed through the piece of muscle as his face scrunched up with an ugly expression. "S-sorry, bith my thongue..."

"Oh? Did I make you _that_ nervous?" He stepped closer towards the half-russian, who was trying to hide his furious blush behind the collars of his jacket. The man barks out a laugh, and it echoed through the night sky and stabbing straight through the silvernette's heart. "I'm flattered." He grinned.

Lev was officially dead.

"You know, it's kind of late right now. What's someone as young as you, a highschool student," he jutted his chin towards the bold white 'Nekoma' letterings on Lev's track pants. "doing outside this late?"

"Oh! I'm- I'm heading home." Lev responded, to which the stranger hummed in reply. 

"Got held back at school?" He asked, and Lev vigorously shook his head.

"No! I'm just... not in a rush to get home, I guess..." Lev had expected that the stranger would probably reprimand him and shoo him home, but he was instead given an amused chuckle. "I get that, and I don't blame you for wanting to do so."

Lev blinked, "You do?"

"Of course I do." He smiled, cheeky and playful. "Let me guess, strict rich parents who're barely home? Probably out there sipping red wine on a fancy cruise while paying someone else to look after you?"

Lev snorted and tried to stiffle his giggling. He waved his hand dismissively, "Make 'sipping red wine' to 'practically living in their workplace'. They're both extreme workaholics and each hour without caffeine is a step closer towards meeting god."

The blood on Lev's face rushed faster and grew warmer - almost boiling - as the guy bursts out laughing again, this time doubling over with his arms over his stomach and wheezing as if he was dying. It reminded Lev of that one captain of his that sports the most iconic bedhead known to man.

"That is - holy fuck - absolutely _hilarious_ to picture." He wipes a tear away, finally recollecting his breath and straightening his back up, and only then did Lev - very shocked - actually took notice of his height. He wasn't as tall as Lev was, of course, but they stood quite close in height with the tip of his head reaching Lev's eyes. He was probably Kuroo's or Inuoka's height, but eitherways, finding someone that tall outside of his volleyball activities was a rare occurrence.

Lev crossed his arms and placated a cocky smile on his face, although it was more goofy than narcissistic. "W-well, I'm not wrong, am I?"

"Definitely not wrong." The guy grinned, "But you're definitely witty. A smart kid, aren't you?"

Lev internally cringed and shuddered at the memory of his latest Japanese Literature paper. He decided not to respond.

Oh, speaking of Japanese Literature, Matsunaga-san had actually given his class a mountain's worth of homework to finish and notes to search and copy online. _Fuck._

"O-oh, what time is it already..?!" The color on his face quickly switched from a cheerful, healthy shade to replacing his blood with rotten porridge faster than a set of traffic lights. He hastily bowed to the guy, his spine cracking audibly much to his embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, but I gotta go..! I-it was nice meeting yo-"

Before he could rush away, the guy grabbed his arm. "Don't be ridiculous, it's dark as fuck right now. I'll walk you home."

Lev was quick to retort, "O-oh! No, I couldn't possibly intrude-"

"There's literally nothing to intrude," the guy reassured, a calm smile on his face, "My shift tomorrow will start at like, eight p.m. or something. So don't worry."

The silvernette pondered for a moment, before slowly nodding his head, feeling a confusing flow of relief rushing through his stomach. After all, this stranger's company _is_ quite enjoyable.

His genuine interest in Lev himself also made him feel warm.

"Well... alright, if you're so sure." Lev pressed his lips, feeling like he was troubling the other male even if it was an offer in the first place.

"I am very certain that I am very sure." He laughed and pointed to one side of the street, "So, this way to your house?"

Lev giggled, "No, it's _that_ way." He pointed towards the opposite direction, "I was literally walking this way a few minutes ago."

The guy laughed, sheepishly scratching the back of his head, "My bad."

And so they walked together, deep within a light conversation followed by occasional laughter.

Nothing much happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rape is a horrific and disgusting crime that I have never experienced before, and I hope it stays that way. But please, if you have ever been forced into such a situation, if you have ever experienced something so traumatising, then please do not hesitate to seek for help. No matter how much you don't believe it, you deserve all the help you can get and so much more. If you ever need to talk to somebody, then please do not hesitate to directly message me through my tumblr (libby-do). I pray, to whatever celestial being out there, to bless you with a speedy recovery.
> 
> This book is a completely rewritten version of my first AO3 story, 'Touch', and it is finally completed (≧▽≦)!! Thank you so much if you've waited so patiently for this to come out, and I swear I'll try to update faster this time! I love you all so much꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡
> 
> As you can see, the story in this book is a completely different storyline from the previous one. The only thing that remains is the plot. Lev will experience the most horrifying time of his life, and tries to pretend it never happened. But with intensifying haphephobia, as well as PTSD, hiding it will prove to be harder than he thought.
> 
> Please tell me if there are any spelling or grammatical mistakes within this chapter, as I will immediately correct them!! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ


End file.
